Harrison Fjord

February 17, 2006

You may or may not have heard that a fourth installment of the highly successful Indiana Jones movies has been announced. Assuming they get around to filming this thing prior to Harrison Ford retiring, I have been having fun trying to think of what the title and tagline will be. So, in David Letterman style, here is my top ten list:

10. Indiana Jones and the Millenium Falcon - George Lucas brings his two most successful movie frachises together to weave this tale he "always wanted to tell from the beginning"

9. Indiana Jones and the Maltese Falcon - Just like the Last Crusade, but replace the Holy Grail with the Maltese Falcon

8. Indiana Jones and the Depends of Doom - Indiana Jones faces the last challenge of his life

7. Indiana Jones and the MI6 - Indy and his father (secret agent James Bond played by Sean Connery) team up again, this time to stop the evil Neo-Nazi Doctor Doom.

6. Indiana Jones and the One-Armed Man - Dr. Jones and Dr. Kimble (both played by Harrison Ford) join teams to solve the mystery of who killed King Tutankhamen; their only lead is the one-armed man.

5. Indiana Jones and the Vice President - Join Indiana Jones and sharp-shooter Dick Cheney as they rain hell on Nazis

4. Indiana Jones and the Chinese Sweat Shop - Indy helps liberate 50 Chinese children who constantly remind him that there's "no time for love, Dr. Jones"

3. Indiana Jones and the Chocolate Factory - Dr. Jones and Willy Wonka (Johnny Depp) get fat together

2. Indiana Jones and the Lord of the Rings - Indy and Gimli the Dwarf (John Rhys-Davies) battle the evil Lord Sauron

1. Indiana Jones and the Social Security System - Indiana Jones goes to Washington to find out why he isn't getting his social security check that he needs to suppliment his fixed income.

Harrison Ford is old...